Manda Propaganda

This year, I’ve had heaps more time to read… and its been awesome :)

Here is what I’ve read so far, with some brief commentary:

When You Are Engulfed in Flames - David Sedaris
I originally only noticed this book before of the awesome cover art, but after reading a review and listening to David Sedaris read some of his essays, I knew I would love it. I know other people who have read it and not really been overly impressed, but I thought it was brilliant, bordering on hysterical. Can’t wait to read more of his work.

Mr B Gone - Clive Barker
I really like the idea of Clive Barker, because the premise of his books are always so promising. But this one was lame. It got really dull really fast, and even the scary, gory, horror bits were disappointing. There wasn’t a single moment where I had to put the book down or even look away and catch my breath… maybe I have gotten desensitised to literary violence, or maybe it was just lame.

A Twist in the Tail - Jeffrey Archer
I first read this book when I was about 15. I have no idea where the book went, so when I had a random dream about one of the short stories in this collection, I had to go out and buy it. All the stories are enjoyable, but the final one “Christina Rosenthal” is by far my favourite.

Harvesting the Heart - Jodi Piccoult
I really love Jodi Piccoult. I have read at least half a dozen of her books, and have not been able to put any of them down once I’ve started them. This one focusses on the nature of motherhood and how a woman can choose to walk away from her family. Very emotional, probably due to my own mother issues, but also because its just so well written.

I Lick My Cheese - Oonagh O’Hagen
This book was a gift from my flatmate Katie when we moved in together. Its a collection of notes people leave for each other in share house situations, ranging from the sweet and uplifting, through the strange and awkward to the downright vicious and scary. A delightful study of non-verbal human interaction.

Life of Pi - Yann Martel
This is the book that claims to make you believe in God. Well, I very much doubt I will ever believe in God, but this was a great read. I totally understand the hype around this book, it really was that good.

Dead Until Dark - Charlaine Harris
The first in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I started reading it after watching the whole first season of True Blood, and still have to work my way through the rest of them. After reading all the Twilight Saga repeatedly last year, I needed a break from vampires, so I have made an attempt to read a “real” book between each one. Seems to be working!

The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz
A friend, Nathan, recommended I read this book, however his brother, Heath (one of my all time best friends in the whole wide world), had his copy and couldn’t find it. By the time it turned up I had already bought my own copy and was half way through it. There is a LOT of Spanish in this book, but although it was distracting at first, it really gave the story authenticity. It was an amazing story, and I was sorry to have it come to an end.

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Next up, I’m reading The Memory Keepers Daughter, by Kim Edwards. Then I might read something light, a comedy perhaps! Between chapters I’m reading another vampire book written by good friend Kevin Glennon. So far so good… I’m very impressed with his work, but since I only have it in MS Word, I can only read it on my laptop. If I could take it on the bus, I’d have finished it by now! Maybe I can put it on the blackberry… hmm.

Things haven’t been going well lately. In fact, they haven’t been going well for a really long time.

I was speaking to my wonderful friend Mel about my staggering run of phenomenally bad luck and after a bit of discussion and some research, we discovered that this bad luck began in July last year, when I began tests for, and was subsequently diagnosed with, PCOS.

Since July 2008 I have been to many expensive doctors, come to terms with my illness and what that means for my future, gone on many expensive medications, suffered the hideous side effects of said medications, had blood test after blood test for what turned out to be no reason at all, suffered alongside family through trials and tragedies, had my dream of my trip overseas ruined, found out I couldn’t trust the one person in the world I should have been able to trust, had my lifelong dreams savaged by my own family, survived the breakdown of my marriage, spent my birthday in tears for the second year in a row, had to pack, move and unpack an entire house on my own, went through really scary ovarian surgery with no one to support me, got financially fisted by medicare for said surgery by being forced to pay the entire amount out of pocket despite having private health cover, dealt with ongoing family dramas that never seem to be resolved, had to work a second job on Sundays to pay off the debt I was lumped with, was lied to repeatedly by someone I loved and trusted, lost a really good friend, and spent a week freaking out after finding a lump in my boob. Of course, there is even more shitty shit that happened that I just can’t mention, suffice to say, this has been a mother fucker of a year.

Mel suggested that this run of bad luck, my own personal fuku, might be coming to an end soon. After all, if it started last July, maybe it will have completed its run by the end of this financial year?

Another theory is that it relates to my Saturn return, and that when it finishes its cycle, when I reach approximately 29.5 years of age, things will settle back into a more stable routine, and I will leave the folly of youth behind and enter legitimate adulthood. If thats the case, there is only a month or so to go until its done with. Surely nothing much more can go wrong in the next few weeks? Right?

Despite all that has happened, I am feeling good, for the most part. I am able to look around me and see so many things I am greatful for; things that I wouldn’t even have if I hadn’t managed to negotiate all those obstacles so successfully.

I reconnected with my wonderful lifelong friends. I’ve made new friends and learned how to have fun again. I have remembered who I am and what I wanted to make of my life. I have come to appreciate my uniqueness more than I ever have before. I have a beautiful home and a wonderful friend to share it with. I have my freedom and independance, which I now value more than anything in the world. I have the means, however meager, to enjoy life and experience new things. I have rediscovered my love of learning and am looking forward to studying again. I have a really good handle on where my health is, and know what I need to do to maintain and improve it. I have a job I enjoy which is close to home and gives me the freedom to pursue other interests in my own time. I have a pretty good idea of what my dreams are, and I am working towards making them come true.

That last point is the most important to me at the moment, because while I wait for the sucking to stop, all I have are my dreams.

I didn’t really make any real New Years Resolutions this year, but I really need some focus and direction at the moment, so I’m making them now instead.

* I will put myself and my needs first and be kind to myself

* I will trust my instincts and be strong enough to walk away when circumstances aren’t in my best interest

* I will protect and maintain my freedom and independance

* I will fight for what I need and what I believe in

* I will surround myself with positive people and not let the negative ones effect me

* I will read and learn and keep active

* I will write something every day

All done. I feel better already :)

I blame you Hollywood
For showing me things you never should
Show a young girl
In this cruel world

Cuz life’s not a happy ending
I’m sure there’s some
Like Johnny and June
And maybe other people too

They all would have been killed in the sound of music
La di da La di di da
They would have found out that Pinocchio could never tell the truth
And she wouldn’t make it to shore
The little mermaid
He would have married a whore from a wealthy family
After all, he was royalty

Cinderella would have scrubbed those floors
Til her hands grew old and tired
And nobody would look her way
It’s just the way it goes today

I blame you Hollywood
For showing me things you never should
Show a young girl
In this cruel world

Cuz life’s not a happy ending
I’m sure there’s some
Like Johnny and June
And maybe other people too

And maybe other people too
Like me and you…

- Angus & Julia Stone

* Brisbane is very green and very pretty

* Brisbane City is of average height unlike Sydney, which seems to stand on its tiptoes to get attention

* Brisbane is clean and tidy, and well manicured

* Brisbane is well laid out and is easy to get around in

* Trains in Brisbane run on time, and there are rubbish bins provided at the station

* The people are very friendly and very helpful, and like to have a chat

* They also like a drink or two

* Oh, and they love to pack shit on NSW in general and Sydney specifically

* But they can also take a joke at their own expense

* Brisbane City doesn’t feel scary like Sydney City sometimes does, even when fisticuffs abound

* No one seems to be in a hurry, and time passes just a little bit slower

* They are proud of what they have without being wankers

* Brisbane is unfamilar without feeling strange, even to a stranger

* Brisbane is nice… I think I like it :)