I slept almost 11 hours last night, but I am still exhausted.
Yesterday, my sister called me at 7am to say that her contractions had started at 1am and she and Klaus were already at the hospital. I made arrangements with work, packed all the things I knew I would need and headed over to be with her.
Things moved very slowly, and by 1pm she was still only 3cm dilated. They started her on a Syntocinon drip and within 90 minutes we were on like donkey kong. Unfortunately, while things were slow, we had told family not to hurry over, so an urgent round of phone calls was made and by some miracle, everyone arrived in time.
Seeing my sister in pain was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I kept running off to get the things she needed (water, pillow, lipbalm, etc) but really, I was just happy to leave the room so I could have a cry without upsetting her more. Not that she noticed, she was in a little world of her own and doesnt actually remember much of the labour.
She did an amazing job, and at 5:17pm, Nicholas was born. He was trying to cry, but instead he just made little kitten noises, but his heart was strong and with a little oxygen to perk him up, he stayed with us for almost exactly 2 hours.
Every second of his life was filled with love and cuddles, and all the family got to hold him and say hello. He even got baptised by the hospital chaplain, which was really comforting for everyone. Eventually though, he got sleepy and his breathing became slower, and he left us at 7:20pm.
Tam and Klaus got to bathe him and dress him, and are staying in hospital until they are ready to let him go. We got hundreds of photos and heaps of video too, so his little noises will never be forgotten.
Her midwives and nurses were amazing, I was so impressed with Tessa, Kate, Margie and the whole team at Royal Womens Hospital, they were simply brilliant.
I left at around 10pm, after they got settled in for the night, and by the time I got home, Katie was already asleep. I sat on my bed, going through all the photos I took, and just let it all go. I dont think I have ever cried so much in my whole life, and have never felt so horribly helpless and alone.
If any good has come out of this experience, it is the comfort I felt being in a room with all my family, supporting each other and simply being there, sharing our love and our pain. Thats it, thats the most important thing, and I realise now I dont have room in my life for those who dont want to be there.
Thank you Nicholas, for bringing us all together. We will love you forever. xxx